On the Wings of a Dream
by pineappletop92
Summary: Finn has a one-sided conversation with Kurt not long after "Furt."  While the main point is to tell him he's sorry about not being a good brother to him, he also has something to say about Blaine.  ONESHOT.  AU.


**A/N: This is just a short oneshot that has been playing in my head recently. It was originally supposed to have Rachel in it, but I decided to use Finn instead. It takes place right after Furt and is completely AU.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**_

* * *

><p><em>It's hard to see the pain behind the mask<em>

_Bearing the burden of a secret storm_

Finn sat down carefully, head bowed in submission.

"Hi, Kurt," he said softly, not ready to look up just yet. "I know that you and I – that we don't really talk a lot. But we're supposed to be brothers, right? I mean, sure we don't have a lot in common, but, well…we're family. And when you're family, you're supposed to rely on each other, right?"

He paused, taking a breath, as he clenched his hands into fists on his lap, before continuing.

"It's only been a couple of weeks since you left us. I know you didn't want to go, and it hurt us too – it still hurts. A lot more than any of us want to admit, actually. But I know that you went somewhere that was better for you."

"_Kurt, there is a moment, when you say to yourself: 'Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever.'"_

Finn closed his eyes briefly as he struggled to settle his emotions, knowing that if he let them go he wouldn't be able to continue – to say what needed saying.

"Kurt, what I wanted to say…what I wanted to ask was…why didn't you ever come to me? I know we had our problems, but I thought we'd resolved that? At least enough to call ourselves brothers. Was it because you didn't trust me? Was it because I was too wrapped up in my own problems to notice yours? Because I should have noticed, Kurt, and I'm sorry that I didn't. I'm so sorry that I was too stupid and selfish to notice that you were getting hurt every single day and that I did nothing about it."

By now he was crying, unable to stop the tears from flowing as he clenched and unclenched his fists in his lap.

"Why didn't you come to me, Kurt? Why didn't you say anything?" Finn practically shouted, finally looking up. "I could have protected you!"

He let out a choked sob and looked back down at his lap, leaning forward slightly as he began to rock back and forth gently.

"_I'll never say goodbye to you."_

"No. No, it shouldn't have been up to you to come to me. I should have done something myself. I should have seen it. I should have fucking paid attention and stopped worrying about my stupid reputation and stupid girl problems. _You're_ my brother, Kurt, and you should always come first. I let you down, and I can't forgive myself for that. If I hadn't…if I had done something…anything…maybe I could have stopped it. Maybe I could have saved you from…from _that_."

Finn took several shaky breaths as he willed himself to calm down. Slowly, his tears subsided but he was still shaking. He sniffed softly.

"Mercedes mentioned the other day…she mentioned that you said you met someone. Someone from Dalton – Blaine, I think. She said that she hadn't seen you as happy as you were whenever you talked about him in such a long time…."

"_I'm crazy about you."_

Here he paused. Not sure how to go on. But finally, he did.

"I tried to look him up so I could tell him…so I could let him know about…about it. I told myself it was to let him know what happened to you, but I think I was hoping I could actually get some answers about what caused the…the _incident,_ instead. But when I called Dalton to see if I could reach him they told me that…well, Kurt, they told me that there was no Blaine Anderson at their school."

Finally, Finn looked back up, eyes red and puffy, tear tracks staining his cheeks.

"I searched everywhere and the only thing I can figure out it that there _is_ no Blaine Anderson, Kurt. He doesn't exist. I don't know if he was just a figment of your imagination – someone who would listen to you, who would understand what you were going through – or if he was something else. I mean, if he was just something you made up – well, I would understand completely. You needed someone to talk to – and obviously Mr. Schue, or any of us weren't going to listen. We were all too busy worrying about ourselves and our own lives that none of us noticed how bad the bullying was getting. Until someone found out about Karofsky…and assumed that…that _you_ had started it…and now…_fuck_, Kurt. Why did they have to do that to you?"

"_They can't touch me. They can't touch us, or what we have."_

He sucked in his breath, trying to calm himself again as his emotions threatened to overtake him once more. He wondered briefly if he should just let go – if he should just let his emotions pull him away like a flood, tugging at him until he was forced under to drown in them slowly until he could no longer breathe. He wondered briefly if that's how Kurt had felt sometimes – if that's how Kurt had felt all the time. Like he was drowning in a sea of his own emotions.

"There were so many things that should have been done that weren't, Kurt. You were all alone and miserable – far more than any of us, I think, no matter what Rachel says about us being alone together. Because I doubt any of us had to go through what you had to – had to suffer as you did. But then 'Blaine' came along and made you happy again."

"_I love you."_

"_I love you, too."_

"I don't know for sure if he was just a figment of your imagination, but I'd personally like to think that he was actually your guardian angel. I know you don't believe in God and all of that, but, well, it makes me feel a little better thinking…_knowing_ that wherever you are, he's with you, and that he's still making you happy. Because you deserve that, Kurt. You deserve that _so much_."

Standing up, Finn uncurled his right fist, and, leaning forward, placed his hand on top of the smooth concrete tombstone, silently wishing it wasn't so cold.

"Goodbye, Kurt. I'll talk to you again, soon. I promise."

And then Finn Hudson turned away from Kurt Hummel's grave and, shoving his hands in his pant pockets, slowly walked away.

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

"_You know…Kurt Hummel has had a pretty good year."_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I need to stop with these death stories. They're not good for me. And yes I know I've only posted two, but I have more in mind…**

**If you have never seen it, please go watch the music video for Martina McBride's "Concrete Angel" (www . youtube . com / watch?v=KtNYA4pAGjI**) **which is the song/video this oneshot was inspired by. She wrote the song in honor of Judith Barsi, voice of Ducky in **_**The Land Before Time**_** and Anne-Marie in **_**All Dogs Go to Heaven**_**, who was killed at the age of ten by her abusive father. I cried when I read about her death because I grew up with those movies, and I cried even harder when I watched the music video. If you watch it, you will understand the idea for this oneshot – although it wasn't child abuse but rather homophobia and bullying that I based mine on, obviously.**


End file.
